Ready for the Blood Moon.
(via drunkvanity)
alive and selving
May I never be complete. May I never be content. May I never be perfect.
Writing Ask
October192014
1PM
ineedtofindmywaybacktothestart:
Real Friends by Nicole Busch on Flickr.
(via counterrparts)
1PM
![selfcareafterrape:
[Image Description: Getting Over Triggers: An Incomplete Guide]
Disclaimer:
Not all triggers can be gotten over and even if a trigger can be gotten over, doesn’t particularly mean it should. It is entirely up to the survivor to choose which triggers to try and get over, and whether or not they want to get over them at all.
Sometimes when people get over a trigger- they will still be sensitive to it in the case of relapse or more stress.
First Step: Identifying Triggers
Triggers kind of fall in two areas. We have our super general triggers that can often be identified by a quick HALT check. (The halt system suggests that when stressed we ask ourselves ‘Am I a. Hungry b. Angry c. Lonely or d. Tired?’ ) These are things that aren’t necessarily ‘PTSD’ triggers- so much as they lower our threshold in general. You want to still be aware of these for that very reason.
Then we have our more specific PTSD/trauma triggers.
It can be a feeling. For instance- survivors of childhood trauma often struggle with anything that makes them feel small.
It can be a visual thing. Whether it be something your attacker wore, something that you watched a lot during your trauma period, people that look kind of like the assailant.
It can be an auditory thing. A sound, a name.
It can be a smell. Smells are actually extremely strong triggers usually.
It can be a touch.
Triggers are things that cause an uptick in symptoms. Whether they cause panic attacks, flashbacks, or a return to behaviors such as self harm or disordered eating.
Step Two: Learning how to Self-Soothe/Ground
Self Soothing/Grounding behaviors are a dime a dozen, it’s all a matter of finding a good handful that work for you.
It’s extremely important that you find a system that works for you before trying to handle a trigger.
There isn’t enough room on a post to go over every possible self-soothing/grounding behavior but I’m going to list some. Do some exploration on your own to find something that works or you.
1. Get an ‘oh shit’ box, or a grounding bag, or whatever you want to call it. A place where you physically keep things that help you. Kind notes from friends. A color book. Play Dough. You’ll want things that cover all the sensory experiences.
2. Proper breathing exercises. These don’t work for everyone- but they do have a higher success rate when done correctly.
3. Cold oranges. Oranges kept in the fridge and then peeled help a lot of people ‘come down’ from triggered states. It’s a sensory thing- both touch and focus and smell.
4. Keeping a grounding object. Whether it be a spinner ring, a necklace, a rock you keep in your pocket. Something you touch often and use as a ‘I am here and this is now’
5. Essential oils can really help.
6. Journaling or Art.
7. Going back to a safe place. Whether this be a physical place or a ‘place’ in your mind.
8. Counting down from 100 by 7’s. Or other things like that require you to focus.
9. Having a playlist specifically for these times. I find that having them set from sort of… high energy.angry. music to slowly going down to more calm helps me personally.
10. Progressive Muscle Relaxation.
But really, self soothing/grounding things… there are hundreds upon hundreds of options. It’s just a matter of looking around and finding what works for you. You’ll want to find multiple. These are not cure alls by themselves- they are skills to layer upon one another.
Step Three: Define Your Triggers
In step one- you identified your triggers, now I want you to better define them.
For instance- if touch sets you off- is it all touch? or is touch to a certain area of your body? or by people you don’t know? or when you don’ t have forewarning
This will help you understand where to start.
Step Four: Create an Action Plan and act on it.
Now you’re going to use all the information from steps three and two, as well as figuring out what skills and people you have in your life that would be willing to help.
Know what coping skills/self soothing/grounding things you will turn to.
Figure out how you’re going to start. Start small. For instance- if you have a touch trigger then you might want to start by making sure you’re as completely relaxed and in as safe an environment as possible- and then having someone you trust touch you.
Remind yourself that you are safe, that you know who is doing it, and that you’re going to be okay. Once again- start out small. Only do it for a few minutes at first- if that.
If a place is triggering, having a friend come with you and working yourself up to staying longer times. Knowing that this time? You can leave as soon as you need to. You are in control. Notice how you feel- notice the racing heart or the nausea or whatever it is- don’t shame yourself for feeling this way. Just know that it won’t be forever.
You’re going to want to make new associations as well. In over simplified terms- a trigger is basically when we see/feel/hear/whatever A and the synaptic connection immediately jumps to the trauma. What you want to do is make new synaptic connections so that it is no longer the first place you unconsciously jump to- and strengthen them regularly.
You’re going to want to slowly work yourself up to handling more and more. It is a slow process, and it often involves a lot of agitation. Don’t push yourself too hard too fast. It’s better to spend awhile working on five minutes at a time until five minutes doesn’t bother you- than to jump in and push yourself into a relapse.
Step Five: Self Care and Processing.
Make sure that you self-soothe before and after you do things and to spend time processing what happened and how it makes you feel. When you start to tackle triggers things will usually come up. It will probably help to keep a journal regarding this process. Talk about how it makes you feel, whether physically or emotionally. Talk about what seems to work and what seems to not. You may notice patterns this way too.
Don’t beat yourself up for not doing perfectly or still getting upset. Instead celebrate the successes and that you are now in control. You can end the trigger sensation when you want to. You can self soothe now. You have the power.
There will a guide regarding ways to handle names specifically sometime in the future.](http://38.media.tumblr.com/e733cec91e2e8e06b166d1b4a8db44d5/tumblr_ncyak74keH1s8wamao1_500.png)
[Image Description: Getting Over Triggers: An Incomplete Guide]
Disclaimer:
Not all triggers can be gotten over and even if a trigger can be gotten over, doesn’t particularly mean it should. It is entirely up to the survivor to choose which triggers to try and get over, and whether or not they want to get over them at all.
Sometimes when people get over a trigger- they will still be sensitive to it in the case of relapse or more stress.
First Step: Identifying Triggers
Triggers kind of fall in two areas. We have our super general triggers that can often be identified by a quick HALT check. (The halt system suggests that when stressed we ask ourselves ‘Am I a. Hungry b. Angry c. Lonely or d. Tired?’ ) These are things that aren’t necessarily ‘PTSD’ triggers- so much as they lower our threshold in general. You want to still be aware of these for that very reason.
Then we have our more specific PTSD/trauma triggers.
It can be a feeling. For instance- survivors of childhood trauma often struggle with anything that makes them feel small.
It can be a visual thing. Whether it be something your attacker wore, something that you watched a lot during your trauma period, people that look kind of like the assailant.
It can be an auditory thing. A sound, a name.
It can be a smell. Smells are actually extremely strong triggers usually.
It can be a touch.
Triggers are things that cause an uptick in symptoms. Whether they cause panic attacks, flashbacks, or a return to behaviors such as self harm or disordered eating.
Step Two: Learning how to Self-Soothe/Ground
Self Soothing/Grounding behaviors are a dime a dozen, it’s all a matter of finding a good handful that work for you.
It’s extremely important that you find a system that works for you before trying to handle a trigger.
There isn’t enough room on a post to go over every possible self-soothing/grounding behavior but I’m going to list some. Do some exploration on your own to find something that works or you.
1. Get an ‘oh shit’ box, or a grounding bag, or whatever you want to call it. A place where you physically keep things that help you. Kind notes from friends. A color book. Play Dough. You’ll want things that cover all the sensory experiences.
3. Cold oranges. Oranges kept in the fridge and then peeled help a lot of people ‘come down’ from triggered states. It’s a sensory thing- both touch and focus and smell.
4. Keeping a grounding object. Whether it be a spinner ring, a necklace, a rock you keep in your pocket. Something you touch often and use as a ‘I am here and this is now’
5. Essential oils can really help.
6. Journaling or Art.
7. Going back to a safe place. Whether this be a physical place or a ‘place’ in your mind.
8. Counting down from 100 by 7’s. Or other things like that require you to focus.
9. Having a playlist specifically for these times. I find that having them set from sort of… high energy.angry. music to slowly going down to more calm helps me personally.
10. Progressive Muscle Relaxation.
But really, self soothing/grounding things… there are hundreds upon hundreds of options. It’s just a matter of looking around and finding what works for you. You’ll want to find multiple. These are not cure alls by themselves- they are skills to layer upon one another.
Step Three: Define Your Triggers
In step one- you identified your triggers, now I want you to better define them.
For instance- if touch sets you off- is it all touch? or is touch to a certain area of your body? or by people you don’t know? or when you don’ t have forewarning
This will help you understand where to start.
Step Four: Create an Action Plan and act on it.
Now you’re going to use all the information from steps three and two, as well as figuring out what skills and people you have in your life that would be willing to help.
Know what coping skills/self soothing/grounding things you will turn to.
Figure out how you’re going to start. Start small. For instance- if you have a touch trigger then you might want to start by making sure you’re as completely relaxed and in as safe an environment as possible- and then having someone you trust touch you.
Remind yourself that you are safe, that you know who is doing it, and that you’re going to be okay. Once again- start out small. Only do it for a few minutes at first- if that.
If a place is triggering, having a friend come with you and working yourself up to staying longer times. Knowing that this time? You can leave as soon as you need to. You are in control. Notice how you feel- notice the racing heart or the nausea or whatever it is- don’t shame yourself for feeling this way. Just know that it won’t be forever.
You’re going to want to make new associations as well. In over simplified terms- a trigger is basically when we see/feel/hear/whatever A and the synaptic connection immediately jumps to the trauma. What you want to do is make new synaptic connections so that it is no longer the first place you unconsciously jump to- and strengthen them regularly.
You’re going to want to slowly work yourself up to handling more and more. It is a slow process, and it often involves a lot of agitation. Don’t push yourself too hard too fast. It’s better to spend awhile working on five minutes at a time until five minutes doesn’t bother you- than to jump in and push yourself into a relapse.
Step Five: Self Care and Processing.
Make sure that you self-soothe before and after you do things and to spend time processing what happened and how it makes you feel. When you start to tackle triggers things will usually come up. It will probably help to keep a journal regarding this process. Talk about how it makes you feel, whether physically or emotionally. Talk about what seems to work and what seems to not. You may notice patterns this way too.
Don’t beat yourself up for not doing perfectly or still getting upset. Instead celebrate the successes and that you are now in control. You can end the trigger sensation when you want to. You can self soothe now. You have the power.
There will a guide regarding ways to handle names specifically sometime in the future.
(via cocteautwin)
1PM
(Source: flipskateboards, via skvtevlldvy)
1PM
THIS IS HOW THE BRITISH PRESS RESPONDS TO THE KILLINGS OF DISABLED CHILDREN. All of these extracts were taken from UK news websites. the final tweet is in response to a now-deleted tweet from politician Sandy Kaylan, who praised a mother for ‘euthanising’ her infant children
tania Clarence, 43, admitted to smothering three of her children, all of whom suffered from physical disabilities. Regardless of the circumstances that led to their tragic deaths, these methods of reporting are unethical and go against the British editors code of practice - which states that, once proceedings are active, the press cannot publish any material that could create substantial risk of prejudice in court. The language used in these articles (“tragic mum”, “the unbearable burden of care”, putting the word murder in scare quotes, etc) does exactly that. Reading these articles, it is clear who we are meant to “side” with.
that these rules on court proceedings are apparently not applicable to cases involving the killing of disabled children shows how little the British press (and by extension, the public) cares about the welfare of disabled people in this country. Calling these children burdens and implying they deserved to die reinforces ableism and makes the world a more dangerous place for disabled people. Yet the press does not count it as encouraging prejudice. maybe it’s because we believe the unlawful killing of disabled infants does not “count” as a real crime
This is abhorrent.
(via goldenheartedrose)
1PM
Language is really complex because the way we speak is a huge part of our identity. So when people attempt to police language, especially the language of marginalized, otherized groups, their preconceptions about what language is and how it works actually become dangerous. Like that’s the only time I will get mad about people discussing language.
(via queerandpresentdanger)
1PM
how erik talks dirty to charles
comic book mags is just the best
his charles memorabilia
the things he says
oh mags
(Source: cyclps, via midget-pumpkin)
1PM
Peter Murphy
Bauhaus
(via gothlorien)
1PM
He smiles for the camera. Cutie pie.
It’s like “MIDDLE FINGERS UP IF YOU DONT GIVE A FUCK!” ooh a camera. *cute smile*
i think what he’s actually smiling at is not the camera but the crowd singing his lyrics back to him
(Source: lazerheads, via ucduxx)
1PM
(via hapamyheart)
1PM
(via someday-i-will-be-skinny)
1PM
Pros of wearing all black: looks so badass
Cons: everyone knows I had powdered donuts
This didn’t go the direction I expected. It was much better.
(via drunkvanity)
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